B E C O M I N G…..
All of it is expected when you are moving into a higher level of your life. And higher doesn’t have to be a new position or more money or more anything. It can simply mean a higher level of thinking, a higher level of being. A level that requires new thinking patterns, new experiences, and new outlooks that can reshape your present and future.
This season has been eye-opening for me. 25 have been the year of rock bottom and more. It seems like everything was happening at once, but I also knew that my perception was a hindrance. Some days, I saw no light. Other days, I saw a light that shined brighter than a sunny day. Most days I felt confined to my bed, to my own miserable, to my own uncertainties. I knew that even if I changed my actions that I still had work to do. I still needed to change my mindset and I had to make a conscious decision to do it daily. We can sabotage our own progress sometimes, but we have to know when to pick up the pieces and keep moving forward.
My lessons from 25 are:
- Nothing is secure. Things are very unstable and we have to learn that nothing is forever. When we become less attached, we can move on and let things go when it ends. Those moments are over. Take what you learn and move on.
- Nobody owes you anything. I have to constantly remind myself of this because sometimes you expect people to do things for you whether that’s communication, resources, etc. But they don’t have to and I am forever grateful for the people that choose to without a force.
- You are your own limit. You set the boundaries. Too many times we allow others to tell us what we can and can’t do. They don’t know the vision you have and sometimes, people are only imposing their own limits and insecurities on you.
- Be careful who you take advice from. There are some people who simply want to see you do your best, always. They will give you the advice you need to hear, not what they want to give you based on their reality. But also be mindful of the people who give the advice to sabotage you. They are out here as well.
- What I may want will require a shift in action AND mindset. Majority of us want more for ourselves. Majority of us have big dreams. Majority of us sabotage those dreams by our own mindset. We can be constantly working towards achieving that goal but still have a doubt and negative mindset towards it. You’re not fully ready to actually enjoy it. Shift your mindset. Shift your perception.
- The people you surround yourself with matters. The habits you have can come from others. The habits you have may rub off on others. Be okay with choosing different people at different levels of your life. Be okay with outgrowing some. Everybody isn’t meant to travel with you on your journey forever.
- Another woman’s success does not hinder you, it empowers you. Too many women want to compete, a generational curse that has been passed down. You do not have to compete. Nobody is in your lane. You’re the only one that has your vision. Even if you’re doing the same thing, the vision is different, the journey will be different, the results will be different. Celebrate each other.
- People matter. You can not do life alone. People help you grow, learn, and unlearn. They teach different love languages, different cultures, etc.
- Love is within and can flourish in a loving environment. Self-love is the foundation. However, in a loving environment, it can flourish even more. Continue to choose an environment that is loving and not abusing or full of lies, hate, and negative self-talk.
- Singleness is an important part of your journey. A lot of people skip the singleness part. It is important that you have that period to nurture your own spiritual, emotional, mental, and professional growth. It is important to develop your own sense of who you are and develop your own values of your life.
- Go after your dreams or sit on the sideline watching others chase their dreams. Push yourself away from your comfort zone.
- You do not have to keep anyone in your life that is toxic. Not family, not old friends, new ones, no one. Everybody does not deserve your energy.
- Get in the habit of shutting down conversations that do not push you to be the kind of person you want to be or speak negatively of someone else. The things we discussion takes up space and we can do better by occupying that space with conversations that push us forward as an individual and as a community.
- Have conversations with people. Not just surface level. Have conversations with people about their beliefs, childhood, values, etc. Have deeper conversations that push you to reflect and get to know someone beyond the surface level.
- Appreciate people. Call them. Text them. Let them know you appreciate them and love them. Life is too short.
- Read more. Expand your mind. Expand your conversations.
- Build a personal relationship with God. Spiritual growth has been my very own sacred experience and moments. It is a space I value truly for myself and within me.
- Everyone is not for you. You cannot serve every single person or you will exhaust yourself trying. Plus, you’ll be giving yourself to everyone when God only want you to give it to a few people.
- Don’t share every goal with everyone. Do share it with people who want to see you win and hold you accountable.
- Validate yourself. When you depend on external forces to validate you or fulfill you, you become complete in their presence. Become full, whole, and complete on your own, within yourself.
- Set goals and crush them even if it takes longer than expected.
- Feel your feelings. Don’t get into the habit of only wanting to experience positive moments or the positivity trend. Life is not positive all the time and that is okay. Acknowledge them. Respond to them. And then move past them daily.
- Be honest with people. Our culture value lies and manipulation. Everyone thinks someone is lying, sabotaging friendships and relationships. Just be honest with people instead of playing around with emotions and damaging someone’s life.
- You are never too old or young to chase dreams or succeed at anything. Everyone has their own time and skill set. Keep striving for excellence in everything you do no matter the age.
- You are never too busy for anything. The things you want and the people you love all deserve you and your time. Stop using busyness as an excuse to only give others a little or none of your time in hopes they will accept what it is. Rise up. Learn balance.
My only competition is ME. I am the only person that can fulfill the purpose God set for me. Appreciate your own roots and flowers. Nourish it. Love it. Live it.