I didn’t attend Spelman because my godparents and mother were afraid of me going ”too far.”
I almost didn’t move to DC because of the same fear but at the age 22, I didn’t want to live in their shadows and never follow my own heart’s desire.
I came back home because of fear. I believe I let them convinced me that being home is the only home I need but it sure doesn’t feel like home.
It sure doesn’t feel like I belong or like I’m following my own dreams.
I feel like I’m living with someone insecurities and fears.
And yesterday, reminded me just how much fear and insecurities have been planted in me from a very early age.
Most of my family are afraid to fly. Some are afraid to travel beyond the borders of their state. And ask someone to move, they think a new city with new people is such a horrible thing. They don’t trust people. They are very scared of what someone else can do to them.
The harsh reality is they all have a reason to be that way and I’m okay with that.
But you cannot impose your fears and insecurities on others, creating a psychological warfare for them.
I hope by the time I have kids that my insecurities and fears have been completely worked out or maybe come to grips with accepting that I cannot keep my kids caged and gated because I think I’m protecting them.
I hope that I give my kid the freedom to embrace the world as his or her own.
I hope my kids understand that the possibilities are endless.
I hope I never pushed my kids to live out my dreams that are not theirs.
I pray that I’m an open, vulnerable person that respect my child for who they are and embrace all of them
Because I wouldn’t want my kid going through life feeling trapped by his or her own fears and insecurities as well as caring mine that prevents them from living and embracing the world