He told me he loved me.
It flowed freely from his mouth daily.
Repeated it after he strikes me with his painful words just to convinced me to stay.
Said it over and over again after he would withhold emotional support and disconnect.
He would constantly tell me that he needs a woman that would stay down during rough times as well as be patient and let him grow into a man.
He believed in struggle love. He believed in proving you can love others during difficult times even if those times came by him choosing to make it happen.
Love. I can’t believe that this was love.
Feeling empty. Feeling controlled. Feeling unhappy. Feeling the pain day after day. I can’t believe this is what love feels like.
It can’t be. This can’t be love.
Because where there is control, there is no love.
Where there is no emotional connection, there is no love.
Where there is inflicted pain by choice, there is no love.
Where you neglected your own needs and wants, there is no love.
Where there is no self-love, there is no love.
Because love is…
a transformational force that demands accountability and responsibility for our own spiritual growth
a will to share our inner selves with others through intimacy, building closeness with one other by becoming knowledgeable of each other to use that for the betterment
an understanding of who we are and what you want that builds an internal sense of worth, confidence, and self-esteem
fulfillment of one’s own potential by realizing one’s own talents and potential
remaining true to self while loving another
honesty with oneself and others
Love isn’t an obligation or forced. Love is a choice, a willingness to share your own spiritual and personal journey with others.
Love is reclaiming your body. Accepting it and saying no to anyone you don’t want to share it with.
Love is understanding the full realm of humanity, emotions and all.
And love can be found within, in your circle of friends, amongst your family, and in your partner
However, the foundation is within.